


Hold Me Even If It's A Fantasy

by DeerEyed



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, M/M, One Shot, Requested fic, Side ShowHyuk, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 11:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14135025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeerEyed/pseuds/DeerEyed
Summary: Life is but a play we meet on its stageDreams are but a fantasy, where I can believe in the possibility of having you





	Hold Me Even If It's A Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the MBBReqSpot collection.
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> kiho soulm8s au where they find each other through their dreams at specific age if they sleep at the same time of the day/night. 
> 
> Kihyun has insomnia and Wonho wonders why he didn't see his soulmate yet.
> 
> [slowburn/mutual pining/romance]

The one time Kihyun asked for something selfishly was for him to be able to sleep at night. 

By now he can count the mismatching spots on his dorm room ceiling, the rough lines on the bottom of the wooden door and the color pencils that Minhyuk forgot laying around after moving out.

If he was asked how many times someone can reach million counting in his mind he’d be able to specify the digits easily.

The thing with Kihyun’s insomnia is that he doesn't know the cause of it, nor does he know how to deal with its effects. Till now it didn't affect his daily life or the things around him, but inside his mind is a dark place filled with a sad picture.

He wants to sleep, he wants to dream again.

The lights slips through the curtains way before his alarm starts to ring. He reaches blindly to flip his phone and silence it while still watching the lights dance on the ceiling.

It was another sleepless lonely night, Kihyun should be used to this by now after years but his mind couldn't, it was starting to crumble bit by bit.

He sighs standing up not seeing the point of laying down if he wasn't going to sleep, goes toward the bathroom to do his morning routine.  
When he finishes his phone rings and Minhyuk’s derp face flashes back to him.

'What?’  
'Good morning to you too, it's a nice weather outside so how about changing our location to the front yard?’ Kihyun looks out of the window and sighs again.  
'Fine, but I’m having dinner at your place today, ok?’  
'What? why? Who invited you.’ His voice is loud and Kihyun's headache intensifies.

'You’re too damn loud! Besides it’s a little something I deserve for dealing with your dumb mind all day.’  
'Damn it why do I have to share Hyunwoo’s food with you.’ Kihyun pretends to sigh dreamily as he exits his room and locks the door after.  
'God your man’s food is heaven on this sad earth.’  
'Stop drooling or you’re going to freak out the outside world. Fine I’ll let you in this time because I’m kind and you’re a starving capable cook who’s too lazy to cook for himself.’

Kihyun rolls his eyes and wishes he could show him the finger, but prefers to be the civilized one and lets out a 'bye’ and hangs up on his face.

Today is going to be a long day, he can feel it in his bones already.

__________________________________

'It must be nice.’ Hyunwoo raises his head at his friend's dreamy tone and turnes his gaze toward whatever he is watching until he sees a couple holding each other’s hands, walking on the street.

He watches them for a moment then looks back toward Wonho’s now downcast eyes, he reaches to him and pats his shoulder in reassuring manner.  
'One day you’ll experience that too.’ Wonho only casts a quick stare at him and laughs bitterly.  
'Yeah right.’ 

It wasn't the first time they started their conversation with those same words, so Hyunwoo didn't know what else he can say to left up his friend's spirit.  
'No one is born mateless, not one that I know of.’  
'No one also had a dreamless night after they turned 18, Hyunwoo.’ He retorts heatedly before sighing after he notices his friend's troubled face.  
'It’s just that, it’s been three years already and I’m starting to think that I’m not meant to have a soulmate, you know.’

Hyunwoo keeps silent for a long minute, his hand playing with his coffee mug and spinning it absentmindedly on the cafe’s outdoor table.  
'The soulmate case is still new, people aren't sure exactly how it works. The only thing we’re sure about is that you get to dream about your destined one after you turn 18, but that doesn't mean it should be right after.’

The older one tries to assure him again which is something he is doing a lot recently, Wonho feels bad for bothering him into doing that over and over, but he can't help it. He is on the brink of depression thinking how he might not have the only thing he selfishly wishes for his whole life.

He wants a love that can erase the loneliness from his heart, he wants a person who can heal his troubled thoughts and ease his mind.

'I’m sorry.’ Hyunwoo only smiles warmly and pats his outstretched hand.  
'Don’t be, it's not your fault. Now how about you eat dinner at our place tonight? Minhyukkie is always complaining that you don’t come often anymore.’

At the mention of the younger a smile adorns Wonho’s lipe and lits up his face.  
'Aww I think he loves me more than he loves you.’  
'You wish.’ Hyunwoo scofs before smiling his usual goofy smile and stands up looking at his watch.  
'We better hurry so I can start dinner before his return’  
'Wait who said I was coming?’  
'Are you declining my offer to eat my food?’

'God you know how much I love your food! Why couldn't you be my soulmate?’ Wonho whines earning only a chuckle and a head shake from the other as a response.

______________________

The sun is starting to hide behind the horizon when Hyunwoo opens the door to his and Minhyuk’s apartment, followed by his friend. He leaves the keys on the side table and turns toward the kitchen in time to catch a hyper Minhyuk who jumps in his arms with no warnings.

‘Careful Minhyuk~ah!’ Wonho raises his head from taking off his shoes in time to see Minhyuk lean down to seal his lips with Hyunwoo’s. He smiles fondly at the lovey dovey couple then marches right toward them to throw himself at the younger one with a loud whine.  
‘Minhyuk~aahhh I missed you!’

‘Wonhoyaa I missed you too!’ He leaves Hyunwoo's arms to turn his body toward Wonho’s embrace, hugging him tightly with a fake sob leaving the older chuckling at the youngers’ cute behavior.  
‘Why do I put up with you two?’ They both turn their heads his way squishing their cheeks together, their lips stretching into wide grins.  
‘You love it’

Hyunwoo sighs shaking his head before he enters the kitchen leaving their sights only to hear his voice rise with a surprised tone.  
‘Oh Kihyun~ah, I didn’t know you were here!’ Wonho freezes as he hears the name, his hands automatically leave Minhyuk and rise to fix up his perfectly done hair.

‘Yah Wonho’ The said man blinks focusing on the younger’s smirking expression.  
‘Behave’ Wonho pulls a face scoffing at him, he is the one who should behave?  
‘Speak for yourself. I haven’t forgotten your last stunt, ok? That was so uncalled for.’

Minhyuk rolls his eyes then lowers his voice so the two chatting in the kitchen won’t hear what is he saying.  
‘Oh please you loved the way Kihyun turned into a burning tomato all over when he fell on your lap.’  
Wonho opens his mouth to argue back, his face heating up as the image that hasn’t left his mind at all pops up again.  
‘That was so embarrassing for him. And you call yourself his best friend?’ 

Minhyuk’s unimpressed eyes speaks levels which makes Wonho pissed off even more, it wasn’t enough that Kihyun might be aware of his, since high school crush, towards him but this so called friend is adamant to hook them up in the most embarrassing methods.  
‘That wasn’t the first time I tried to get your stubborn heads together, and believe me, as long as I live I won’t stop.’ And before Wonho can drag him in another argue, possibly ending up with Wonho’s arms around Minhyuk’s neck, the younger skips happily toward the kitchen leaving him in the dust.

Wonho swallows a whine and follows him toward his destruction, the moment he enters through the doorway though, like magnites, his eyes immediately locks with Kihyun’s across the small kitchen.  
Is it possible for anyone to become more beautiful each passing day?

The last time Wonho saw Kihyun was at the couple’s first anniversary party last month, back then the older was painfully aware of the younger’s lack of sleep from how bad his eye bags were. While the bags are still there now, his eyes though were shining with unspoken message, one which Wonho died to figure the meaning behind.

‘Hello hyung, it’s been a while.’ His voice was so soft and small, the opposite of his tone when talking to the others, Wonho finds it cute how shy Kihyun turns in his presence.  
‘It’s been a while indeed. How have you been?’  
‘Busy with researches and stuff, the end of the year is approaching fast, you?’ Wonho shakes his head aware of Minhyuk’s burning gaze on the side of his face.  
‘Same, nothing new.’

That was so awkward, as always, Wonho is amazed they didn’t skip their usual conversation starter and ignored each other already. They always find themselves listening to the others speaking rather than doing the speaking themselves, just imagine how that would turn if they were left alone.

‘I feel bored how about we hurry up and eat dinner before the party starts?’ Kihyun’s head swiftly turns to Minhyuk’s way when he hears that..  
‘Wait what party?’  
‘We’re going to Hyungwon’s party after dinner, you know his parties are the best in-’ Wonho cuts in upon seeing the discomfort in Kihyun’s face.  
‘When did we agree to that?’

Wonho immediately regrets his words as soon as Minhyuk’s face turns into a taunting one..  
‘If you have stopped ogling at Kihyun for a second you’d have heard me and Hyunwoo talk about it, right dear?’ Hyunwoo’s head jumps up upon hearing his name so he lowers the heat of the oven.  
‘Sorry what?’  
‘We talked about going to the party, right? and you agreed on taking these two with us?’

It was painfully obvious how Hyunwoo has no idea what nonsense Minhyuk is spitting right now, but after a long moment of staring at his lover he nods hesitatingly with a quick _‘yes’_ before his attention goes back to making dinner. 

Bullshit.

‘Minhyuk I can’t go to the party, you know that. I need to submit my paper first thing in morning.’ The said man walks toward his lover and leans on his wide shoulders to peek on what is he cooking.  
‘What you really need is a good lay my dear friend.’

‘Lee Minhyuk!’ Kihyun eyes widens at Minhyuk’s blunt reply, and if Wonho wasn’t trying to keep his heart from jumping out he’d have thrown the mug sitting on the table at the grinning devil.  
Minhyuk innocently smiles and kisses Hyunwoo's shoulder slowly, his eyes twinkling with mischief.  
‘We’ll have fun, trust me.’

_______________________

5 minutes in the party and Kihyun regrets asking Minhyuk if the chair beside him was available 5 years ago in high school. How could his mind not warn him of the outcomes of befriending the Satan himself? He thought he was smart enough to avoid such bad fortune. 

Kihyun jumps as a drunk girl pushes past him, turning her head back to him in the last minute to send him a wink.

Just kill his gay soul right this second.

He gazes around looking for the others only to witness Wonho standing beside the wall, his eyes roaming around for sure doing the same as him. Kihyun finds himself smiling for he thought the older would fit in and be in the center of all those girls, and some boys, which are staring at him with open interest. 

He takes a deep breath before walking to him in slow steps, his heart unnecessarily fast. Why is he nervous? Maybe because he is willingly going to start a conversation with a hot guy who has the main role in all of his daydream fantasies?

Kihyun nearly stops advancing and bails out the nearest door.

The moment he stops though, Wonho’s eyes find him across the room, with relieved expression, his head tilts toward the side, beckoning him toward the kitchen. How can he say no to that?  
He pushes past the drunk people and stumbles over few stuff, not bothering to check if they are bunch of humans or not, and follows Wonho inside.

The dimly lit kitchen provided a wall of silence between the pair and the noise outside as soon as Wonho closes the door. The table positioned on the middle is filled with different kinds of alcohol, the older one Skips through few choices before he reaches to pull out two beers from its case and hands one to Kihyun.  
He thanks him with a small smile, feeling giddy about the way Wonho's eyes landed on his lips for a long second.

God, he feels pathetic, but a good kind of pathetic if that is possible. 

Kihyun sighs mutely at his thoughts, his heart swells in a painful reminder, one so familiar it nearly stung his eyes. He can't pursue this crush so why his mind is playing with his emotions like that.

Wonho belongs to another, and so is he.

Before his brain can beat him up more, the door to the kitchen opens suddenly revealing a pair of giggly girls. The two watch as the new comers hold each other's hands with a look of awe that seems to take over their whole faces. 

'I can't believe you're here in front of me, in flesh! You look way prettier than in that dream.' The other one shakes her head fighting to let go of words choked up by her tearful eyes. Kihyun blinks once or maybe twice, his mind slowly coming to realise what is going on with these two.

It takes him one minute, in which the girls realises they weren't alone and sneak out as quickly as they bursted in. It takes him only that one minute to feel the emptiness hold his heart in its captive once again.

The atmosphere changes around them and Kihyun can feel the tension shift in the place. He looks toward Wonho, who has his eyes on the bottle of beer in his hand, his jaw tensing by the force he put as he grits his teeth. The younger can slice the thick air with a butter knief, if he wants.

‘I give up.’ Wonho’s words catches him off guard, his throat feels tight with invisible pressure.  
‘What?’ The Older shrugs indifferently and downs the whole bottle in one sip, his hand reaching out, this time for the bottle of wine put in front him but Kihyun's hands is faster as he pulls his hand back.

‘Hyung, don’t..’  
‘Leave me alone!’ The music might have drown his loud voice but Kihyun is too close to him to miss it, and his flinch makes Wonho bite his lips, sporting a regretful expression.  
‘Sorry Kihyun. I-I just don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t want to think at all.’ With his eyes stinging with unshed tears, he turns his head toward the younger and with a pleading tone.  
‘How can I stop myself from feeling alone?”

Kihyun blinks slowly, fighting the sheet of blurriness swimming in front of him, and the urge to cry the frustration he feels for himself and the older out. If only he knows the reason why someone as kind, as wonderful and selfless as Wonho can’t have his mate already. 

If only Wonho can be his.

He almost sobs at the last thought that invades his mind, his hand comes up to rub his chest feeling the aching in his heart grow.

He shakes his head slowly to get rid of these thoughts and focuses again on Wonho. He reaches out to touch his hand, lost in the warmth of the bigger one’s he speaks his next words with husky tone.  
‘Hyung, you’re not alone.’ His other hand raises up to left his downcasted face his way.

_I’m here._

The unspoken word rings loudly between them. His eyes assures him with so much confident that it baffles Kihyun up more than it does to Wonho. His fingers, trembling but cool on the older’s heated skin, travel around each contour of his face touching it with delicate manner. Their eyes never once straying from each other’s, filled with many words and different emotions.

At that precise moment, something snaps inside Kihyun, and he can see its effects on the older's hopeful gaze.

'Let’s go upstairs.’ Wonho blinks his eyes watching as Kihyun’s own shies away yet still, his hands didn't let go of him the whole time.

'I’ll comfort you.’

____________________________________

Wonho opens his eyes slowly, eyelashes fluttering against the offending rays of the sun. He wishes he can go back to sleep, he aches all over his body, but in the same time it feels like it's the best sleep he ever had in years.

He tries to move his limbs and stretches but stops when he feels the presence of another body beside him. Wrapped up tightly in Wonho’s arms.

No way, he didn't.

His head starts to pound as he dips his head down to escape the lights, only to nuzzle his night partner’s hair and take in his scent.

Fresh cinnamon, just like Kihyun’s.

Suddenly all the memories from last night stumbles in his mind leaving him wide eyed in disbelieve.

He remembers how he knew exactly what Kihyun’s comforting applied, the way the shorter one steered him away, eyes not quite meeting his, from the noisy part of the house to the quietness of one of the bedrooms upstairs.

He remembers how the moment the door was shut and Kihyun turned to him slowly, he backed him up against said door and cupped his face, leaning to ravage his lips with zero hesitation. 

And he remembers how Kihyun let him do whatever he wanted to him, all night.

Wonho’s heart skyrockets at the pictures of the two, lost in passion, his mind conjured up.

His face buries itself in Kihyun’s silky locks, his arms tightening around his smaller body more as his feelings starts to burst and explode.

He wants to cry, both from being happy and miserable at the same time. He shouldn't have done it with someone other than his mate, he shouldn't have used someone as kind as Kihyun to bury down his frustrations. What if things changed between them? What if the younger hated-

'Are you awake?’ The small voice made him jump out of his skin, he didn't realise he was clutching onto Kihyun like his life depending on him until he talked. 

He retreats slowly but the younger isn't having any of that, so instead of him gluing himself to the younger one, Kihyun is the one snuggling against him comfortably now, his hair is all over the place and eyes squinting against the offending lights.

Wonho won't mind dying after seeing this cute image of Kihyun.

'How are you feeling now?’ Wonho tries to distract himself from attacking the younger one, he really wishes he could at least put some clothes to prevent himself from reacting more to the closeness.

He is so aware of many body parts making contact with Kihyun’s own, and it’s not helping him calm down at all.

'I’m cold and I want to sleep more’ He whines and snuggles more, the way he arches into Wonho searching for his body heat makes him look like a kitten in its natural habitat.

All of a sudden, Kihyun’s head rises up looking toward Wonho’s face with wide eyed.  
'I slept..’ He turns his head to look at the clock which was showing 9:34 in the morning and continues.  
'..For 9 hours straight.’ Wonho frowns not seeing what he is all shocked about.  
'What do you-.’ Oh.

Kihyun’s eyes sparkles with new found excitement.

'Omg I was sleeping just now and I feel..fine, refreshed even! I haven't slept this well once in the past few years!’ His face radiates joy on every small muscle, the older one can't help but mirror his reaction.  
'You were sleeping so soundly.’  
'I know!’  
'Maybe it's the place, maybe-’ He stops abruptly as he turns his head around to take in the surroundings.  
'What the hell?’

Kihyun’s eyes follow his in observing the room they’re in and a deep frown settles on his face.  
'This is not the room we slept in, isn't it?’

Wonho stands up from the bed and swipes his gaze all over it with disbelieving eyes.  
'This is impossible. Why are we in my old room?’  
'Your old room?’ Wonho nods as he turns back to the one still sitting on bed, surrounded by his childhood Captain America's blue comforter.  
'This is my room in my parent’s house, back in jeju’ 

It was Kihyun’s turn to stare at him.

'You’re kidding, right? How the hell did we end up here? We were drunk!’ Wonho closes his eyes trying to remember if something happened yesterday, but no matter how much he tries he can only see the time where Kihyun lead him upstairs and that's it.

'What the hell?’ Kihyun’s screech snaps him from his struggle and what he sees upon turning makes him gasp in shock.  
'When did you wear my hoodie?’  
'I wasn't..’ Kihyun’s panicked eyes met his across the room, each are silent upon witnessing such bizarre events, calculating. Everything seems so hazy and weird to Wonho’s eyes, the lack of his and Kihyun’s yesterday’s clothes anywhere except for his hoodie which appeared out of nowhere, and their phones are out of sight too. Everything around him feels so solid but unreal at the same time, as if he’s still sleeping.

As if he’s still.. dreaming.

'Hyung..’ He watches as Kihyun’s hand rises from under the sheets to show him what he found, his eyes screaming more than his tied tongue is trying to formulate the suitable words.

In dream state you’re ought to encounter questionable things, such as the lack of stuff you’re sure you know were there before going to sleep, or other things like an extended or extra body parts. That's the mind’s way of informing you that you’re still sleeping.

That piece of information comes to Wonho’s mind as soon as he sees Kihyun’s 6 fingers move slowly in front of his face. 

And that's how Wonho wakes up.

Eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, his heart heavy with the new discovery. His emotions swirling inside making his eyes water and blink rapidly while feeling the weight of Kihyun’s body, so new and so comforting, over his own.

'You’re my soulmate.’ Kihyun’s whisper indicates his shock, Wonho can relate to that, but then the younger shifts his weight and raises his head to look his way.  
'Then it's my fault.. All this time, it's been my fault.’ He continues upon seeing Wonho’s confusion, his voice chokes up.

The older man immediately raises his palms to cup Kihyun’s watery cheeks and shakes his head ferociously.  
'It’s not your fault.’ He opens his mouth to argue back but Wonho shuts him by pressing his lips on the younger’s trembling ones. His heart beats picking up speed at the contact.

_It feels too good to be true._

'It’s no ones fault, Kihyun. It is in our fate to find out this way.’ Kihyun clutches his wrists tightly letting out streams of fresh tears with each trembling sob. It was a heartbreaking scene, but Wonho admits that he doesn't want to change what happened and what lead them to discover this truth.

He has a soulmate, and not any soulmate but it’s the one whose smile has always made his world brighten, and his heart less lonelier.

Wonho presses into him more until he forces him to lay down, face glued to the younger one’s and body covering his small figure. He wipes Kihyun’s tears with a small smile, his hands then moves into his soft hair brushing it back to reveal his stunning features.

'God you’re so beautiful.’ Heat rises to Kihyun’s cheeks yet he still remains silent, his eyes roaming Wonho’s face as if absorbing it in his mind with its smallest details.

Wonho felt good having Kihyun’s attention on him like that.

The older one can't hold back anymore, he dives down to capture Kihyun’s lips in a scolding manner. His hands tugging gently but urgently at his soft locks pulling a soft moan from the younger. Kihyun’s hands go around his broad shoulders so naturally, as easily as his legs wrapping up around Wonho’s waist.

He didn't want to let go, not when he's finally got him.

'I've waited for you so long, but you’re mine now. mine and no one else's.’ Kihyun gasps softly feeling Wonho’s hands run all around his feverish body, leaving trails of heat on every part of skin they touch possessively.

Kihyun can only nod as he surrenders to the passion of being touched by his soulmate.

______________________________

Kihyun struggles to hold his eyes on the TV ahead, his body laying on top of Wonho’s on their living room’s couch. It’s barely 7:14pm and he finds it frustrating that he already feels sleepy.

'I think my body is taking revenge on me, I can't believe I’m sleepy right now.’ He groans lowly upon feeling the vibration of Wonho’s laugh under him.

'Baby go to sleep then, we can always watch this movie next time.’ Kihyun only shakes his head stubbornly.  
‘I want to stay up with you more.’ Wonho falls silent for a long moment that the younger thinks he said something wrong.

'Ok we’re going to bed.’ Kihyun immediately starts complaining, he protests when Wonho rises from the couch holding him up bridal style.  
'But I don't wanna.’

He watches as Wonho’s eyes twinkle at him, his steps are firm for someone who isn't paying attention to his path.

'We’ve been talking for the past three months every single night, it’s ok to skip it tonight.’  
Kihyun nearly pouts feeling sleep creep up to shut his eyes till next morning, but he resigns when Wonho tucks him in and follow right after to spoon him from behind.

'Promise you’ll be here tomorrow morning.’ Kihyun feels him smile against his neck before he nuzzles his cheek and presses a soft kiss on his skin.

'I promise, tomorrow, the day after and every single second of our life. I’ll be there for you.’

Kihyun’s smile has never been this wide before.

**Author's Note:**

> _Requested by anon as part of a project Reeleev doing with Druekee called MONSTA X Fanfiction Requests Forum!_
> 
>  
> 
> Request: 
> 
> kiho soulm8s au where they find each other through their dreams at specific age if they sleep at the same time of the day/night.
> 
> Kihyun has insomnia and Wonho wonders why he didn't see his soulmate yet  
> [slowburn/mutual pining/romance]  
>  _Go to the request page to leave one of your own! And, if you're a writer yourself, check out the request list and write something to submit to the page, if you'd like~ http://mx-requests-forum.tumblr.com_


End file.
